My Bitter Heart
by Awkwardauthor
Summary: After a devastating encounter of first love, Bella tries to desperately move on. But it'll prove to be a difficult task when the one person that's causing her the pain is the same person that she's still in love with. AH B/E
1. Prologue: I Love Him, But He Hates Me

**Hey fellow fanfic readers! I'm back with another full-length fanfic, which is something that I haven't been done since I started with Life Isn't Always Fair (Which I hope to update soon). This is gonna be a highly different type of genre that I'll be writing through, since I'm used to writing regular humor, friendship and romance stories. This story is angsty, and involves lots of heartbreak and friendship. There WILL be a HEA eventually, but this story will progress slowly so bear with me.**

**Why do I choose now to do this? I've been facing through some rough things involving love for the past few months, and I thought about writing it all down so I wouldn't forget. To be honest, it still hurts to be remembering what I went through, but I figure that if I wrote it all down in a story then it would make me feel better.**

**This is my story, told through Bella's POV. The dialogue isn't the same as what I went through, but the key events that will happen are the things that really happened.**

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><p><span>I Love Him, but He Hates Me<span>

_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
><em>This pain is just too real<em>  
><em>There's just too much that time cannot erase<em>

_~ My Immortal (Evanescence)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

He hates me. Those are the three words that hurts me to my deep core. It's all a distant memory now, but nevertheless it's a memory that's permanently seared into my mind.

I've always wondered what I did wrong. All I did was confess my love for him... well not exactly 'confess.' Technically, I revealed my feelings through a letter that only got through him just because I convinced Alice to give it to him. He kept a safe distance from me, hardly talking to me in public except when it was necessary. We practically saw each other every single day in school. I felt jealous seeing him hugging other girls in school (I was one of those girls, but it only happened ONCE). I wished I could be that girl that got hugs every single day.

Despite the pain that he gave me, we have a story. I was facing through the 'down' part at the moment, but at one point we had an 'up' part. We frequently sent messages to each other via Facebook, which is strange considering it reminds me of that quote "We're friends on the internet, but strangers in public."

He was cute, and yet he was a sweet nerd. It's obvious that he'd be someone that would catch a girl's eye, but those girls will never see the dark side of him. The dark side that's nearly making me fall over the edge.

I wonder if it will work out between us. We're two people from two separate worlds but have been brought together by fate.

My name is Bella Swan, and this is my story.

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><p><strong>Yeah... that was the only the prologue. The first chapter will be up soon, and I can say by then the story will start to make a little more sense. Idk how many chapters there'll be though.<strong>

**PS there's a playlist that I'm making for this fic; something that I'm doing for the first time. It'll mostly be break-up songs, but I'll throw in some happy songs in between.**

**Please review! Those bring a smile on my face, whether it's good or bad.**


	2. Chapter 1: Take Me Out Of My Misery

**I'm back! See, you didn't have to wait that long for the next chapter, huh?**

**As I said from the prologue, the first chapter will open up the story & you'll kinda see that it'll make a lot more sense.**

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><p><span>Take Me Out Of My Misery<span>

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_  
><em>Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb<em>  
><em>Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold<em>  
><em>Until you find it there and lead it back home<em>

_~ Bring Me To Life (Evanescence)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

"Bella?"

_What have I done?_

"Bella?"

_He hates me._

"Bella?"

_How much shit have I caused for this to happen to me?_

"Bella! Snap out of it!"

_Huh?_

"Wh-What?" I stuttered, turning my head to see Rosalie shaking my shoulders. Her blond hair fluttered in the wind just like a model, though instead of a smile on her face she wore an expression that resembled a grimace.

"Good. You're okay. For a minute I thought a ghost possessed you or something."

I rolled my eyes. "When has a ghost ever possess me?"

"Never. Just thought I'd bring it up."

"Right..."

She frowned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

My hands began to ball into fists behind my back and I gave a fake smile. "Yups. Just had a lots of homework to deal with and a test to study for later this week."

That was only part of the truth. Yeah, I had to do a lot of homework but I was able to finish it within a day (Thank god whatever scientist it is out there invented the computer). As for the test... I'll do what I usually do: Wing it and see what happens. Works for me most of the time. Most.

The other part, however, involved Alice and he-who-shall-not-be-named.

Lemme sum up what happened. Today's a warm April morning on a Tuesday... and it had started from... last week Tuesday?

Yeah, last week Tuesday. That's what I'm looking for.

Let's see...

Tuesday: I see Edward giving one of his brotherly hugs to Alice. It was really common for me to see them hug and me witnessing it a few feet away, but somehow this particular hug bothered me for some reason. I walk home crying (I'm surprised no one had noticed) and wonder what the hell had gotten into me.

Wednesday: I'm still wondering why the hell I had reacted to what happened between Edward and Alice. It wasn't until _much later _during period 2 when Alice described her 'dream guy' that I wondered if I had _loved _Edward than _liked_. My thoughts were answered when I got home and while I was messaging Edward on Facebook that I realized I needed some way to confirm if he really did know how I felt for him. That night, that's when I wrote the letter to Edward revealing how I truly felt about him.

Thursday: I got Alice to give the letter to Edward. At first, I tried convincing her not to read it since the whole letter seemed so cheesy and she'd start changing things that'll make it sound like it came from Tanya. She begged me so many times that I finally gave in. She _did _change a few things from the letter (Spelling, grammar... oh and stuff that mentioned her), but she had felt happy for me and was willing to give it to Edward for me. On the way to period 4, Alice did stop me while she was walking and told me she'd given it to Edward.

Friday: I finally get the guts to ask Edward on Facebook if he liked me back. I didn't answer back until about two hours later when, just as I woke up from my afternoon nap, my cell phone rings. I answer it to see that it's Alice asking me if I read Edward's response yet. I say no, give Alice my home phone number, then proceed to log in to my Facebook account via cell phone.

His response made me feel disappointed.

He said no.

Or, his more exact words were: _Sorry to say this, but theres no chance. Besides I like someone else._

I had asked Alice why she was asking, then told me it was because Edward had called her earlier to tell her to call me to see if I had read what he said on Facebook.

Alice and I ended up talking on the phone for over an hour, pretty much things that were considered nonsense. For me, though, it was a way to distract me from what Edward had said.

I continue the message thread from Edward, jumping from us to the topic of Alice. I'm not gonna go into detail of our conversation, but I can say it involved me asking him if he had any 'special' feelings like I did for him. He denied me, but then jokingly stated he would ask her himself. What turned into a joke became something serious and it ended up me encouraging him to ask Alice if she liked him more than as a 'pretend brother' (He had a real sister who was a year younger than him).

Saturday: I call this my 'I fucked things up' day. Why? Let's just say that Alice told me how Edward had asked her about if he liked her and it kinda turned out into an awkward conversation between them. Literally. She had sent me their whole conversation about it on Facebook and I had felt so bad because I knew that it was because of me that caused this.

What's worse... i had to go to a party for my cousin's birthday later that evening. Not a good option since I wasn't willing to be bawling my eyes out in public.

Through a _different _message, the three of us had tried to fix things (We all had at least one Facebook status that involved what was happening and I was seriously glad that no one except us had no idea what's behind it). Alice didn't answer much from the message since Edward had specifically told her to ignore it so that he could fix me up himself.

Edward fixed me up, but only halfway.

Sunday: Ah... easter Sunday. After my conversation with Edward via Facebook last night, I had felt a little better but wondered why he couldn't fix me up all the way. I chatted with Alice about it during the morning an early afternoon... and mid chat I realized that I was in love with Edward, since that hug I saw the two of them share. I was lucky that my parents didn't know about my little crush on Edward. They would've disapproved and then give me a full blown lecture about how I should focus on my studies first before boys.

Through once again another Facebook message (Yes, there had been too much Facebook messages going on that weekend), I tell Edward how I truly felt about him; that it wasn't just a simple crush. I knew I'd regret it, but I wanted to get it over with. I needed him to know.

Monday: The. Worst. Day. Of. My. Life. My mind was rambling on whether or not Edward read my message and if he could fix me up all the way like I hoped for. I didn't care if he didn't feel the same. All I wanted was for him to stop treating me like a total stranger and become my friend.

I got the answer... through a way that still completely hurts me.

During period 1, Angela had passed me a note. We were working on our end-of-the-quarter project (I was done with mine, though Angela was not). Unfortunately, it was about Edward.

She explained how Edward was mad at me, thinking that it was pathetic of me liking him, his sister was going to do something about it and that I was a stalker. At that moment, my heart shattered and all my hopes of ever finding a way to really work things out with Edward was gone. I had lied to Angela, saying that I was fine and that I was deeply sorry for what I did and that I'd leave him alone. That was my final promise.

So here I am now... a shell of my own being. I try to remain happy for Rosalie, Renesmee, Jessica and Zafrina. They're my friends... and I refuse to get more sympathy than I already had.

Rosalie. She's cool and I can count on her to make me laugh on all things Pokemon.

Renesmee, though she likes to be called Nessie. She's pretty smart and I count on her to smile on anything about Super Junior, SHINee or SNSD (They're Korean pop, also known as K-pop groups.)

Jessica. I can count on her to give me any funny news on her brother: a complete Pokemon fanatic.

Zafrina. She's a whole different story. What can I count on her for? With her crazy attitude... I can count on her to make me laugh _and _smile.

What do we five have in common? We ALL have a dislike towards Justin Bieber.

Alice. Very upbeat, fun, but pretty small for her age (People like to call her fun size, but my own nickname for her is Lil Ninja). She's great talent in singing, acting and skateboarding. I'm sure I'll be seeing her on the big screen someday.

And Edward. The object of my affections... and the pain that I now felt. Alice calls him adorkable (Adorable and dork), which I agree is a super cute nickname. They have a connection that's hard to comprehend... something that I don't see between most guys and girls.

But as much as I like her as my friend, I'm jealous of her at the same time. She's lucky that she's free to hang around with Edward whenever she wants. They know each other so well, whereas I only knew him in the first place since he was in a few of my periods. He's always silent towards me, so I'm forced to comply and stay a safe distance away from him.

However, I knew something he'll never realize. No matter how much he thinks he's stupid for all the mistakes that he's done in the past, there are girls who like him.

Just like I was, and sadly still is.

It's stupid, but I can't help it. He's my poison... yet he's also my antidote.

Gee, how complicated can my love life get? Or more lack of?

"Bella!"

Damn... I must've zoned out again.

"I'm okay!" I exclaimed. "I'm not dead."

"Course you're not, Bells. Now c'mon, let's get going. Zafrina's probably driving Nessie and Jessica crazy by saying the JB pledge of allegiance."

"No worries. I got Baby memorized for her."

"She's probably gonna faint on that."

"Maybe... or give me one of her death hugs."

Rosalie grinned. "Possibly."

As we passed by a few bystanders, I couldn't help but think how my life could've been different if Edward had just talked to me. I knew in the first place that he was different, but I didn't expect things to happen that will made it this bad.

Where I'm at now... I didn't want to be in it.

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><p><strong>Whew! Got the first chapter outta the way. I admit that there's a few parts in there that are funny, but that's how my story is. My friends and I are kinda random, and that's how it'll be.<strong>

**Next chapter: It'll be a typical school day for Bella and Renesmee, Jessica, Zafrina, Alice and Edward will be making their first appearance.**


	3. Chapter 2: A Way A Guy Can Torture You

**Chapter 2's up. Since all of this has been recent in my life, I don't wanna forget so the updates for this story'll be pretty fast for the time being.**

**Now, here's a little fact. Bella's friends (Rosalie, Renesmee, Jessica and Zafrina) are actually my friends in real life. Their personalities are accurate to the real them, so all the silliness that shall come are true too.**

**Rosalie= My friend, Crystal. She's on FF & her penname's xxLove-Is-Adorablexx.**

**Renesmee= My friend, Nicole. She has a FF too, but she's new so she has no fics up yet. Her penname's ThePersonaMaster.**

**Jessica= My friend, Alisha. **

**Zafrina= My friend Sabina (Lolz their names rhyme haha). Trust me when I say she's the most random of the group so anything random Zafrina will say in this fic you'll know why.**

**One absolute true fact: We are kinda against JB (Justin Bieber, not Johnny Bravo. We all love that Cartoon dude), so I apologize for some of the dissing that'll occur. No worries, not all of it will be bad.**

**Alice= My almost best friend Aliana. She's pretty loud for someone short (She prefers to be called 'fun sized').**

**And finally Edward... yes this story wouldn't exist without him. He equals to a young fellow name Joshua. He may not have been my first crush or boyfriend, but he became the first person I feel in love with and sadly my first heartbreak. Still not over it however.**

**Okay that was a long beginning A/N. Now... enjoy!**

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><p><span>A Way A Guy Can Torture You<span>

_Drew looks at me  
>I fake a smile so he won't see<br>What I want and I need  
>And everything that we should be<em>

_&..._

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
>The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star<br>He's the song in the car I keep singing  
>Don't know why I do<em>

_~ Teardrops On My Guitar (Taylor Swift)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

"I pledge allegiance to the flag, that Justin Bieber is a fag-"

"Who used to play with Barbie dolls-"

"And now plays with human balls!"

The sound of Renesmee, Jessica and Zafrina's laughter over next to our favorite tree resonated through all the students' conversations, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

_Oh Zafrina._

But, remembering what happened with Edward, my smile curled back into a frown.

"Hello chicka!" Jessica greeted, still giggling from saying the JB pledge of allegiance.

"Hey," Rosalie said, smiling. I gave a little wave.

"Yo," I said softly, my voice barely audible.

I couldn't cry. I refuse to look weak in front of my friends.

"Hey Bella," Nessie said, seeing my distress. Normally I was the happy girl that could make everyone else around her either annoyed or happy too. "Are you okay? You don't look good."

I shrugged. "Bad weekend."

"Bark," Zafrina said, suddenly in front of me. This was her usual greeting: barking at her friends like a dog. I swear I saw her do it once to the principal, and I'm pretty surprised that she hasn't gotten detention for it.

"Hey Zafrina." I was barely able to say my usual morning greeting before Zafrina leaped forward and enveloped me in another one of her friendly death hugs.

I love that girl, but I sometimes think that after we finished our junior year at Waipahu High and graduate I'm gonna send her to an asylum and get her brain checked.

"Zafrina!" my friends shouted.

I rolled my eyes, momentarily forgetting about my Edward problem. "Don't worry, I got this." I took a deep breath, then sang just loud enough for my Zafrina to hear.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no. Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you'd always be mine, mine."

"Noooooo!" she shrieked, letting me go and covering her ears. "Not that fag!"

"Sorry, I had to do that." I stepped away and leaned against the wall, blowing a strand of my mahogany hair out of my eyes. With the morning introductions done for now, I sighed and went back to thinking about the reason why I was sad.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! If I had to love someone, did I have to choose now to do it?_

I wasn't used for people to be silent towards me. I was someone that was naturally easy to approach, even if that person didn't know me. For example, there were my friends. We met through a complicated cycle. I first met Tanya, who introduced me to her twin sister Kate and her friends Irina, Carmen, Samantha, Chelsea and Lauren. Carmen introduced me to Rosalie, who introduced me to her friend Nessie. I met Jessica through one of my periods, who finally introduced me to Zafrina.

Again, a complicated cycle. But hey, that's how social lives are like. You meet one person through another, and so on and so forth.

I feel like one of those characters in those sappy romance movies, where the girl gets her first heartbreak and spends most of the movie missing her first love until practically 3/4 of the way in she meets the guy that replaces the guy that breaks her heart. That new guy convinces the girl that he isn't the same as the guy who broke her heart, the girl believes him and they proceed to go into their happily-ever-after.

Sappy, but hey at least once in our lives we watch them. There's no way to avoid it.

I did have one boyfriend, but it lasted like what... four days? We're still on good terms, and I'm rejecting his pleas to get back together with him. It was long-distance, so those usually didn't work out. Hell, I practically have most of the first's down... well except first kiss and first 's' (You should know what I'm talking about. If I must clarify, it's a three letter word that ends with x). I'm still a virgin in both of those areas. And with the end of my junior year approaching and senior year around the corner, I didn't want to be the last virgin left in Waipahu High at the end. Sure I was considered pretty to some guys, but those compliments came from guys who were players or had multiple girlfriends.

So, in a way, it sucks to be me.

"Bella."

_Oh Edward... why couldn't you have just talked to me?_

"Bella."

_You could've listened to Alice. _

"Bella."

_Why do you have to be mad at me?_

"Bella!"

_Oh shit, did I zone out again?_

"Sorry," I apologized, quickly shaking my head. "I'm alright."

"I don't buy it," Zafrina said.

"Bella was like that on the way to school too. Same response, she keeps on telling me she's fine," Rosalie explained. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded. "Just stressed." I turned my head towards Rosalie and Nessie and mouthed 'I'll tell you guys later.'

'Okay,' they mouthed back.

"Sooooo..." Jessica started. "Who's played any of the Pokemon games lately?"

Except Zafrina, we all raised our hands.

"I played Emerald," Rosalie said.

"One of the classics... LeafGreen I think," Nessie said.

"And I played my Platinum. I'm still trying to catch that damn Heatran through," I grumbled.

"You'll get it, Bella," Zafrina said, patting my shoulder. She knew about our love for Pokemon, though she's only played a few in her lifetime.

"I hope so."

For the next few minutes, we chatted about we had done for the last few days. Our conversations flowed easily, and again my mind was able to be taken off what happened with Edward. Jessica and I compared our homework answers with each other, making sure we had decent homework to turn in to Mr. Banner. I let Rosalie and Nessie listen to a few songs by Super Junior from my Ipod. Zafrina, being herself, just ran around the grassy field barking at random students and a few teachers. I could've sworn one of the teachers had slapped her on the head with an umbrella, and all Zafrina did was just laugh and continue doing her thing.

All was okay for the time being... until the devil came along.

Or the angel, however you want to call it.

Chatting away with a couple of his friends, Emmett and Jasper, he was a few feet away from me. I locked eyes with Emmett and he gave a stiff nod.

He knew.

Obviously. They're friends, and I knew their policies of 'Telling each other everything' like I did with my friends. Edward had a hard time figuring out who he trusted most (Which he still did), but Jasper, Emmett and Garrett had proven themselves to him so I didn't mind.

Jasper though gave me half-smile. Unlike Edward, they at least talked to me once in a while and acknowledged my presence whenever I'm around.

Edward's bronze hair was messy as usual, and he reached up to rub on it like he usually does whenever he gets nervous. He also does one of his famous hair flips like Justin Biever (I meant Biever... I mean Bieber! Damn, do I hate that dude that much?), something he does to get his hair out of his face since it was pretty long up to this point.

Normally I'd be swooning and falling to my knees like one of those girls meeting Ashton Kutcher for the first time, but given my current state of the pain that Edward caused me I just frowned and tried to hold back my tears.

_Why can't he be mine?_

It's easy. He has a crush on someone else. Even though he thinks it's just temporary and that he'll get over it eventually, it still hurts me and makes me wish that it was _me_ that he liked. Hell, I had no idea who the girl could possibly be, so I had no right to judge the girls that he has the right to like.

This is America, after all.

Jasper whispered something to Edward, to which his face turned into a look of bewilderment and he fiercely shook his head.

"Hey!" Emmett yelled from across the field, waving his hands. "Hey Swan!"

My friends stopped talking for a moment to see who it was that just yelled at me. I saw Rosalie's cheeks turn red slightly and she turned away.

_Aw... how cute. Rose has a crush on Emmett._

Finding my voice, I waved back at Emmett. "Hey Emmett!"

"Eddie!"

I knew that voice all too well.

In a matter of seconds, I see Alice's petite figure pop our from behind the bleachers as she rushed towards Edward and gave him a hug, to which he immediately reciprocated. Eddie was Alice's nickname for Edward, and she'd turn defensive whenever anyone else call him. How do I know? Just yesterday I had seen Emmett call him that to which Alice slapped him and reminded him that only she could call Edward Eddie. Edward respected Alice for that and gets annoyed whenever his friends called him Eddie.

I smiled slightly at their brother-sister exchange. It was cute, but I was jealous of it at the same time.

_I wish that was me._

Treat her good Edward, because that's what you haven't done to me.

I saw Edward spin Alice around, and with the way she had a petite figure she was literally lifted off the ground. I smiled sadly. I still wish that was me.

After Edward placed Alice back on the ground, she turned around and beamed at me.

"Bella!" In less than a minute, she crossed the field and I eagerly held out my hands to her, giving her the hug that she wanted. Her hugs were far different than Zafrina; at least she wasn't trying to suffocate me. I loved Alice's hugs: her hugs always show how much she cares for the people she cares most about.

"Hey Lil Ninja," I said, ruffling her hair slightly.

She groaned. "Don't do that! You know how much I hate people doing that to my hair."

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Force of habit."

"That's okay." She leaned closer to my ear. "You gonna be okay? Edward told me over yesterday what happened."

I froze, pulling back from her and leaning back against the wall. Great, did she have to bring this up now? And in front of my friends too?

I shook my head. "I'll get over it."

"Be certain Bells. Angela told me he possibly hurt you pretty bad. I don't blame him; Edward may have a soft side, but I'm not gonna ignore someone who got hurt by him. It's never happened to anyone I know before, even with Kate."

I sighed, remembering how Tanya once told me her sister had a crush on Edward. He had taken her down easily by being the good boy he is, and at the moment I wish I could get over it easily like Kate had done. Unlike her, I wasn't _that _much of a social type.

"I'm sure," I said, then pointed behind her to where my friends were trying to listen in to our conversation.

"If you say so. I'll be here for you if you need to, okay?"

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say Ali." Whatever Alice wanted... Alice gets. And that's no joke.

She nodded, waves at me and runs back to where Edward and his friends were.

Rosalie and Nessie make their way back to me. Jessica was nowhere in sight, which must've meant she headed off to homeroom already. There's only a few minutes left until the first bell rings, so I gotta make this quick.

"What was that about?" Rosalie asks, looking to where Alice was and then back at me.

I shrugged. "Edward."

"What about it?"

"Ummm..." I struggled to come up with a lie that my friends will believe. "Something personal between us."

"Really? Last time I check he doesn't talk to you as often as Alice does," Nessie said, jumping in.

"We talk on Facebook," I said simply.

"Uh-oh... he's still treating you like a stranger huh?" Rosalie said.

I pause, then slowly nod. They'll learn the truth... eventually. For now I'll take it step-by-step and share pieces of information that I feel like sharing.

"He'll talk to you. No one can stay silent towards you forever."

"I hope so."

And, as if by magic, the bell decides to ring, interrupting the middle of our conversation.

"I'll see you two later?"

"Okay," they say in unison. We part ways as I start walking alone to the direction of Mrs. Cope's homeroom.

Is Rosalie right? Could Edward and I work out our problems?

Truthfully, I know the answer to that question for now.

No.

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><p><strong>A little longer than the last chapter, but that's good right?<strong>

**A bunch of new characters were introduced in this chapter, and again they are all based by real people.**

**Tanya= My friend Martina.**

**Kate= My friend Augustina. The part that I mentioned they were twins... that's true too.**

**Irina= My friend Chantelle.**

**Carmen= My friend Sharri.**

**Samantha= My friend Levi.**

**Chelsea= My friend Breann.**

**Lauren= My friend Chantelle.**

**Emmett= This guy name Desmond.**

**Jasper= This guy name Mark.**

**Garrett (He's only mentioned, but he'll be making an appearance later in the story)= This guy name Christian.**


	4. Chapter 3: Rain That Brings Memories

**Well I don't have much to say for this chapter. I admit that it was really hard for me to do this chapter since _most _of the memories that'll be here are true. Not dialogue true, but the main plot nonetheless.**

**This is an intense chapter up to this point, and I plan for there to be another one somewhere in the middle of the fic.**

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><p><span>Rain That Brings Memories<span>

_I see dark clouds out my window._  
><em>I know the storm is coming any minute.<em>  
><em>And the thunder just confirms my fears.<em>  
><em>And I know that tears are in it.<em>  
><em>I'll be crying unable to stop.<em>  
><em>Look here comes the very first drop.<em>

_Cause every time it rains I fall to pieces._  
><em>So many memories the rain releases.<em>  
><em>I feel you.<em>  
><em>I taste you.<em>  
><em>I cannot forget,<em>  
><em>Every time it rains, I get wet.<em>

_~ Everytime It Rains (Ace Of Base)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

It surprises me to see that the rest of the week passes by without a blur. Besides the usual Zafrina craziness and my Edward problem, the week passed by as if it was nothing. It was pretty uneventful, but it didn't bother me that much.

I didn't get the chance to talk to Rosalie and Nessie yet about the Edward problem. Call me stupid, call me coward, or hell even call me a coward. I'm all three of those combined, and I didn't like it. One of the things that I wanted to resolve this year is to get over my shyness, but apparently that wasn't going all too well. I could always get Zafrina to help me (She's more of a social type than me), but that would mean letting her in of what happened between Alice, Edward and I. She has a big mouth, and I'll kill her if she tells the whole school.

It was a secret that can't be told yet. I'm going through hell now, and just putting more hell in it... who am I kidding? There'll be more hell to come. I can't avoid it.

Today's Saturday and I'm under house arrest like every other weekend. Dad's fighting crime as a police officer, and mom's at another weekend meeting with all the other teachers at the local Elementary school. Rosalie's fighting another slight cold, Nessie has loads of homework to do, Sabrina's at a family reunion and Jessica is too busy killing her brother for stealing her DS.

So basically, I'm home alone with nothing to do. I'm barely focusing on what's happening on TV; I don't even know what show's on in the moment. All I know is that it's set on Disney, and I hear one of those recorded audience laughter. I don't care, because that laughter could've been mocking my pain.

I stare down at the piece of paper in front of me. There were words on it... words that haunt me. Words that I wrote so long ago and had just barely finished it today. It was supposed to have a better ending than this, but with the way my story is unfolding it ends on a sad note.

I haven't wrote poems in such a long time, so it surprised me when I got the idea in my mind and I couldn't help but get it down on paper. I admit that it sucks, but hey not everyone writes poetry like Shakespeare did when he lived. Poetry is what comes from the heart, and what I wrote came more from than just my heart.

_Fallen: By Bella Swan_

_Love is a strange thing_

_That's neither good or bad_

_It's a feeling that you desperately sought_

_Yet hits you when you least expect it_

_~:~_

_He is different_

_He brings a smile on my face _

_Whenever I see or think of him_

_But at the same time_

_It opens a hole in my chest_

_I find hard to heal_

_~:~_

_I still can't find a reason_

_As to why my heart_

_Beats uncontrollably like a hummingbird's wings_

_It's bearable, yet I want it to stop_

_Like scorching heat on a summer day_

_~:~_

_I'm fire, he's ice_

_Two beings that should never meet_

_We come from two different worlds_

_That had somehow been bound together fatefully_

_~:~_

_I try to let him in_

_But he always shies away_

_I want him to trust me_

_Think of me as a friend_

_It won't happen though_

_Since he keeps a safe distance away from me_

_~:~_

_I kinda hate it, the way_

_I seem to be so attracted to him_

_I've never been so worked up_

_To a guy that I hopelessly admit_

_Will never see me in the way _

_I see for him_

_~:~_

_No matter how much_

_I seem so happy to others_

_They will never see how deep inside _

_I'm so emotionally vulnerable_

_With a heart so open_

_Yet damaged beyond repair_

_~:~_

_We have a complicated story_

_A story that has its ups and downs_

_He's my safe haven, my savior_

_Something that he just takes for granted_

_~:~_

_I'm afraid of taking risks_

_But I do so all the time_

_I look back at those risks I took_

_And I realize how much of those risks_

_Has taken a toll of who I am_

_~:~_

_It has come to the point_

_Where we are more distant than ever before_

_Will he forgive me, I don't know_

_I don't deserve any more chances_

_But the sun and moon still revolves around us_

_So that, I hold on to_

_Can still give me the tiniest glimmer of hope_

_For the future_

Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I hear the first raindrop fall from outside my window.

_Great. The moment I start crying, st starts raining. What's next: thunder?_

BOOM!

Yeah, that answered my question.

It wasn't always like this. I could remember that, in the distant past of a few months ago, Edward Cullen had become a sorta good acquaintance to me. He'd say an occasional "Hi Bella" to me in the morning after the first bell and even give me a slight smile. During that time it was when Edward hadn't really treated me like a stranger. He'd acknowledge my presence back then, and I used to didn't mind the fact that not so many words would be shared among us.

He had caught my attention and I hadn't known why, but I've always felt that strange tingle in my stomach that people would feel whenever they see the person that he/she likes. I thought that it was ridiculous back then since I hardly knew Edward and that I was still recovering after my break-up with my first ex. A few weeks past, and the same sensation would still hit me whenever I saw him. He had already added me as a friend on Facebook a few months ago, even though I didn't know him. All I knew was that I recognized him as one of my classmates in my math period. I've never declined a Facebook request before, so I just took the chance and accepted it.

I had learned soon after that Edward was one of those smart honor roll students. I was kinda jealous since I was an honor roll student too and it'd mean some competition.

Then again, I liked guys who at least had half a brain in their mind, so it hadn't affected me like I once thought it would.

So somewhere, along the middle to the end of January, I was defeated. I couldn't fight it any longer. I had a crush... on Edward Cullen.

Somewhere, back in the bowels of my mind, I can still remember that day when I told Alice of my little crush on Edward.

_"Bella! Wait up!" Alice yelled from a few feet away from me. I was heading to English class for the day, and I was still a little tired from all the walking I did with Rosalie and Nessie. _

_"Hey Alice," I said when she finally caught up to me. She was panting slightly from the running she just did, but she still had a bright smile on her face._

_"So-" she started. "Are we still on for our bet?"_

_I nodded. "Yeah. Knowing Corin, I bet it wouldn't take that long.__"_

_"But he doesn't get the hints. I've been texting with him last night and I tried dropping some clues. He was confused by some of 'em, but even after that he still didn't get it."_

_"Because he's an idiot."_

_"Yeah, but he's my idiot."_

_"True that."_

_We stand down near the edge of the sidewalk closest to the stairs. Her head is down and I see she's trying not to look at me._

_Well, I need to make her feel better about Corin. She's right about the idiotic part, but he's a nice guy. We call him guitar boy since he can play the guitar. _

_I do know one thing I can say, but I don't know how much she'll react to it. We've just recently become good friends, and I have no idea if she knows much about Edward._

_"Alice?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"If I told you that I had a crush on somebody-"_

_I don't even have enough time to finish before she starts beaming and jumps up and down. "You like someone? Who? Who?"_

_"Ummm..." my body tenses and I feel the blush rising on my cheeks. "It's someone."_

_"Give me a letter?"_

_"E."_

_"Lemme see... Emmett?"_

_"No."_

_"Embry?"_

_"No."_

_"Ephraim?"_

_"Oh hell no!"_

_"Edward?"_

_I froze. "Uh..."_

_"I knew it! Which one though?"_

_"Last name starts with a C.__"_

_"Cullen?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Oh my god," she shouted. I have to shush her so she wouldn't catch attention from some of the freshman who were staring at us. "He's like my brother."_

_Wait what?_

_"Brother?"_

_"Well we're not exactly brother and sister but we kinda act like one. I've known him since 9th grade so yeah."_

_So she did know Edward. That was a relief I guess. That took away all the questions she might have asked, like "Who's Edward?" or "Is he in our grade level?"_

_I just say "That's great."_

_"I know! But why? Not lots of girls like him."_

_"Ummm... because he's cute? And he's smart and pretty cool."_

_"You forgot funny."_

_"That too."_

_I look down at my watch and realize that the bell would ring in less than two minutes. "I gotta go Ali. I'll see you later?"_

_"Sure!"_

Then there was the Valentine's day hug...

_"So what did you want to tell me?" Alice asked as were on our way to lunch._

_I blushed. "You know how I like Edward right?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Can you ask him if-"_

_"He'll be your Valentine? " she finishes for me, popping a chocolate kiss in her mouth._

_I nod, feeling a little like entering 6th grade all over again._

_"I'll ask him during lunch!" she immediately answered. "I bet he'll say yes."_

_"I bet not."_

_"Oh come on. He usually never says no to anyone."_

_"Okay..."_

_Alice smiles, then leaves me as she walks with Cynthia. I met up with Rosalie and Nessie in the cafeteria and we have a normal lunch together just like we always do._

_After eating, we dump our trays and walk to the bleachers where the rest of the students usually hang out during lunch recess. _

"So-" _I start. "Did you two get any Valentines yet?"_

_Nessie shook her head. "Besides the chocolate you gave us, no."_

_Rosalie also shakes her head. "I've had some before, but not this year."_

_"How many have you had before?"_

_"A few."_

_We lean against our favorite tree and have a casual conversation about Super Junior. We debate on which was our favorite song when Alice pops up in the middle of nowhere, dragging Edward by her side._

_"Alice," he groaned, and I turn away slightly. He had a nice voice._

_"Don't fight it,__" she told him. She turns to me and claps her hands. "He said yes!"_

_"W-What?"_

_Edward does a small hair flip and gives me an sheepish smile. "Alice asked me if I wanted to be your Valentine and I said yes."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah." He opens up his arms and I lean forward, hugging him. The feeling of Edward's arms enveloping me and my face against his chest felt really nice, and I suddenly realized that I was hugging him._

_Him._

_The guy that I had a crush on._

_"Awe," Alice said._

_The hug ended all too soon and we finally locked eyes with each other again. "Ummm... thanks."_

_"No probs."_

_"I don't know what to do now."_

_"Me either... so I'll see you around?"_

_I nodded. "I'll see you around."_

_He smiles, gives me a little wave and walks away with Alice back to his friends._

Valentines day for this year was the best for me, but I couldn't help but think that something changed him after that hug. He'd still say hi to me every once in a while, but it felt forced, like he didn't want to say hi to me.

Like he regretted it.

It continued that way for a while until today.

Somewhere in February I remembered that first message on Facebook that I sent concerning Alice. I looked down at my phone that was still on the internet as I read that message I sent a few months ago.

_Bella: Hey do u mind if u can help me out with somethng?_

_Edward: Like?_

_Bella: Has Alice evr told u who she likes?_

_Edward: Yeh, why?_

_Bella: Well shes been trying to drop hints to Corin tht she likes him but apparently he doesnt get thd message. So i made a deal with her tht if he doesnt get the message by the end of graduation thn I'd b the 1 tht tells Corin tht Alice likes him. So I've been helping her get Corin to realize tht Alice likes him but I've run out of ideas now. Do u have any ideas on how to drop hints to Corin without revealing evrythng too soon?_

_Edward: Whic Corin, the one i hang with?_

_Bella: Corin Anderson? He's in a different grade level... sophomore or senior i thnk_

_Edward: Oh, well what about it? How do you need me? What do you need me to do?_

_Bella: Just ummm... give me some advice on how i should drop those hints on Corin. Im askin u cuz u know Alice more thn i do._

_Edward: I tell you laters, i gotta do something._

_Bella: 'Kay. Sorry bout the somewht l8 reply. My phone lost battery charge around nine. :P_

_Edward: thats okay, i guess_

_Bella: Ok tht good. So have u thought up of anythng on how i should help Alice (a.k.a Fun Size)._

_Edward: Not yet, i'll think of something_

_Bella: Okay :)_

_Bella: Hey did u get an invite frm Marcus to that Removing Or Spamming Waipahu League thngy?_

_Edward: Yeh, I think Brady knows who it is, u should go ask him._

_Bella: How does Brady know?_

_Edward: I dunno, he told us at lunch on friday_

_Bella: Oh cool. I'll tell Marcus tht since i promised to help him & I'll figure out wht to do frm there._

_Edward: Ahh, otay._

_Bella: So ths Brady... he's one of ur frnds who sits by u guys lunch. Wht does he look like?_

_Edward: Not often does he do that. he has glasses. His picture on facebook is a lot of smiley faces with one red sad face_

_Bella: Hmmm... I thnk I remember who he is if tht was him sitting nxt to u guys._

_Edward: not on our orginal table we moved that day_

_Bella: Ah okayz._

_Bella: Hey. If you're on right now do u mind if i ask u something?_

_Edward: Sure._

_Bella: Did u finish ACE problems for math?_

_Edward: Nope, i finished the packet lol_

_Bella: Lolz so fast! I'm doing tht right now & I'm still on #33. :P_

_Edward: __Lol, my friend needs it done, so i get it done, why?_

_Bella: Cuz from the last homework i got so much wrong with a score of one. I don't wanna bomb it again for ths hw so I wanted to try compare results with someone so i can figure out wht i maybe did wrong. Normally I'd b really good math since I got A's on it since 6th grade. Idk why but I'm getting B for math every quarter for the 8th grade and im desperate to get a 4.0 again like 6th and 7th grade._

_Edward: Don't look to me, sorry, i just ace all my testand get 3;s and 4's for my homework, the packet is for extra credit which should help my homework grade and yeah, so try look for Alice._

_Bella: Lucky. Im irregular so I get lucky if i get a 4 so most of the time i get a 3 or 2. I usually get low A's or B's for my tests though so i get nervous whnevr i thnk of getting an A or B in math. I'd b asking Paul right now but apparently he's a procrastinater who i see does the hw during hw. So do u know if Alice's on Facebook right now?_

_Edward: Um lemme check. nope._

_Bella: Oh okays. Imma just ask Paul during homeroom tomorrow... but i doubt he's gonna b much help since he literally slapped me ths morning while trying to get a bug outta my face._

_Edward: sad life. Well you can try._

_Bella: Yupz but hey lots of ppl have sad lives so least i dont have to b the only one. Btw whn Emily told about the bet... did u... uh kinda freak out?_

_Edward: Not really. I'm calm in the face of adversity, and work well under pressure, lol i told her a joke about me doing that and we laughed lolololoololololol well yeh_

_Bella: Lolz wish i can b calm under situations like tht! But i have a temper so its a big fail for me whnevr im under pressure. I guess whnevr im under pressure i usually stomp my foot so my friends and I laugh tht evry time._

_Edward: Lol, you gotta learn how, it helps to be the strong silent one._

_Bella: Aha my friends from my other skool Heidi and Tia can. Lolz my mom says i get it frm my dad._

_Edward: What about them?_

_Bella: They can handle pressure way better thn me which sucks :P_

_Edward: Well learn, it helps._

_Bella: Well I'm gonna try... so you're gonna try to not complain for the 40 days thingy?_

_Edward: Yeh, for lent. I wont break my resolve._

_Bella: You better hope so. Its weird though how my friends would give up thngs like gum and chocolate. One wanted to give up swearing and i would too if i dont swear least once evry day, so im just gonna try to not say "Shut up!" to anyone._

_Edward: You best try lol_

_Bella: Lolz im gonna cuz evn my parents agree it would b nice to hear me not say shut up for a while._

_Edward: Lol okay_

_Bella: Cool ;)_

I know... _super _long message thread, even though I had more words to say than Edward. I would've thought it would be short since we hardy talked to each other in school... turned out he did have sort of a big mouth in him.

He was easy to vent my mind too (He comes in second since Alice is pretty much my first at the time), and he didn't mind one bit. We nearly talked every single day until somewhere in April he suggested I stop sending messages to him so that we can learn to be our own selves again. It worked for a while until I got so bored one day and my friends were not on Facebook so I decided to message Edward. I did have something to ask him anyway, so I took the chance and went for it.

I sighed, then stared out the window, watching each of the raindrops falling to the ground that makes a loud splat. I was once told by a friend that when it rains, it's because God was crying. I didn't believe it at first, but I considered it a few times and figured it could be true. We all knew that scientifically rain comes from the clouds, but in religious purposes it's something to think about.

I wanted to bring everything back to how it should be... I wanted Edward to not be mad at me. I wanted to know why he had kept a safe distance away from me.

But most of all, I wanted to know if we still had the smallest hope left for each other.

* * *

><p><strong>Suckish ending, but I got a little bit of writers block on this chapter.<strong>

**There's a load of characters in this fic and a lot more coming up.**

**Corin= CJ (I'd put his full real name but the real Alice would probably kill me :P)**

**Embry= N/A (Lolz I'm not gonna be putting his name. It'll ruin a surprise later on)**

**Ephraim= Well I actually have no based character on this but he's supposed to be this guy name John. Generic name so it's safe.**

**Marcus= A guy name Jeamberly**

**Brady= This guy name Orion (Honestly I don't know much about this guy except that he's a friend of the real Edward)**

**Heidi= A friend of mine from another school name Yva**

**Tia= Another friend of mine from my other school name Jhessica**

**Paul= A guy name Renz (He's smart too but sometimes I'd like to slap the shit outta him lolz)**

**Trishia= My friend Trishia. **

**Angela (She was mentioned in the first chapter)= My friend Amber. She's gonna play a major role later on.**

**Fourth chapter won't be as sad as the first three. It'll be pretty random, something I thought I'd put to fill in some of the sadness that Bella's feeling.**

**Review! I love how some of you guys are favoriting this and adding it in story alert but a review once in a while won't hurt. No worries, I won't bite. ;D**


	5. Chapter 4: To Take My Mind Off Things

**This chapter (I think) might be the most random in the entire fic. This is more of a fill-in so we all don't have a depressed Bella throughout the story. After this chapter, things will get more complicated.**

**In chapter 4, it'll involve two things: a domo and a bush. Don't get it? Read on.**

* * *

><p><span>To Take My Mind Off Things<span>

_You can count on me like one, two, three  
>I'll be there and I know when I need it<br>I can count on you like four, three, two  
>And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends<br>Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh  
><em>

_~ Count On Me (Bruno Mars)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

I barely get up on Monday morning to go to school. While I stretch, I feel my muscles ache from not moving around during the weekend. I needed to start fresh, and I need to have a smile on my face. I may be suffering, but that doesn't mean I'll bring my friends down with me.

I meet up with Rosalie and Nessie near our usual meeting place in the morning over by the bus stop. Rosalie's busy talking to Nessie, and she smiles at me when she spots me from across the street. Nessie waves and I grin. I love my friends.

I looked to my left and swore to myself when I saw that our bus was at a stop at the last stoplight. If I didn't get a move on I'm gonna miss my bus.

As soon as the stoplight turned green, I speed-walked across the street and barely reached the bus stop when the bus had stopped. Rosalie and Nessie give me a quick hello before we enter the bus, show our bus passes and make our way to our usual seats near the back exit, with Rosalie sitting between me on the left side and Nessie on the right.

"So-" Rosalie started as soon as she sat down. "How was your weekend Bella?"

I shrugged, mentally flinching at the memory of me thinking about Edward during that rainy day. "Nothing much. Just my usual reading and writing self."

"Ah. I was too busy slapping my brother for calling Justin Bieber hot."

Nessie gaped. "So not."

"It's true."

"What a prude! Everybody knows that-"

"Cody Simpson is hotter than Justin Biever. I mean Bieber," I finished, giggling.

"Biever," Rosalie chuckled. "Which reminds me... my brother also did mention that Cody Simpson looked a lot like Justin Bieber in appearance."

"And what you do?"

"I slapped him again."

Nessie high-fived Rosalie. "Good for him."

I smiled. "He does if you look at him in a far angle."

"But by voice?"

"Then Cody Simpson rules!"

We exchanged a three-way high five and laughed. After our laughter died for a few minutes, I spotted Alice and Cynthia entering the bus together. Alice and Cynthia each gave me a little wave before they took their seats next to their friends.

_Wait..._

"Rosalie?" I asked.

"Yes?" She turned her head to look at me.

"Did you bring it?"

"Yeah! Hold on..."

"Bring what?" Nessie asked, looking a little confused of our inside conversation.

"This." Rosalie opened and reached into her orange and black checkered backpack and brought out a fuzzy pink stuffed animal. Its mouth was open with eight sharp white teeth and two black beaded eyes.

"Domo!" Nessie squealed. "And it's pink."

Rosalie grinned. "I won it at Fun Factory. I wanted a brown one but they ran out and I really wanted a domo so I settled with this."

"It's cute!" I exclaimed with the same excitement that Nessie was having a hard time to control.

A few people in the bus were staring at us, wondering what the commotion was about. When they spotted the pink domo in Rosalie's hand they turned around and went back to whatever they first did when they got on the bus.

I blushed. I didn't like being in the center of attention because when I do, I'm always gonna end up doing something embarrassing.

"Let's be more quiet," Rosalie whispered, hiding the domo back into her bag. "I'll show it to you guys in school when there aren't any people staring at us."

"And Jessica and Zafrina?"

"They'll see it too."

Nessie giggled. "But it's pink."

"So?"

"So? You don't know what Zafrina will do when she sees pink."

"Oh yeah," Rosalie sulked. "Shoots, I forgot."

"Remember on that field trip?" Nessie asked.

"The one I went with Alice, Paul and..." I frowned. I didn't want to say the last name to them since I was still sad.

"And-" Nessie prompted.

"Someone."

"Oh." Rosalie zipped her backpack back all the way and slung it back on her shoulders.

I nodded. "Let's just say Zafrina shrieked at me like a girl in one of those horror movies."

"That bad?"

"Yups, not to mention she chased me around E building."

Rosalie laughed. "Remind me again why we're friends with her?"

"Because she's fun and upbeat and never gets us bored during recess and lunch?"

"Bingo."

"Still," Nessie said. "I'd like to have a normal lunch again for once."

"Since when have our lunches ever been normal?" Rosalie said in a sarcastic voice.

Nessie shrugged. "Since last year?"

"Think so."

I thought back to the last time the three of us had a normal lunch. With Zafrina... I shook my head. I can remember every lunch we've had since our freshman year and it has never been normal. But just the three of us... the last time I remember was a month before the end of our sophomore year when Zafrina was at home with a cold. So yes, it has been that long.

We got off the bus and met up with Jessica and Zafrina near our usual spot. Zafrina was singing 'Judas' to herself while Jessica kept on trying to silence her by hitting her head with her blue umbrella. But no matter how many times she does that, Zafrina just keeps singing and drives Jessica even more crazier.

"Help me," she said as soon as she spotted us.

I grinned at Rosalie. "The domo?"

She reached into her backpack and pulled out the fluffy pink stuffed animal (Or monster, whatever that thing was) and hid it behind my back. "Here you go," she whispered. "But if Zafrina destroys it you're buying me a new one."

"No worries. I've got this taken care of. Zafrina?"

She stopped singing and turned to me. "Yes, Ms. Mittens?" Zafrina gave me that nickname back in freshman year. Why? I still don't know.

I slowly took the domo from Rosalie and showed it to her.

"AH!" She screeched. "PINK!"

Jessica collapsed on the floor, laughing at Zafrina's reactions. "Girl, that was so good! Hi-five!"

I shared a high-five with Jessica, then turned back to where Zafrina was. She was on the ground. covering her eyes.

"Why is that thing pink?" she groaned.

I snickered. "Ask Rosie."

Rosalie hid behind me, obviously afraid of what Zafrina will do to her. I'd be scared too if I was in her position; more than once she's tried to strangle me whenever I do something that makes her react like this.

"I wanted a pink one, but they ran out of it at fun factory, so I got that one."

"You could have at least dyed it blue or something!"

I chuckled. "I've never heard of a blue domo before."

"Yeah there are," Rosalie said. "There are blue, orange, yellow, pink as you see here, gray..."

"Lemme guess... there's a spider-webbed one too?"

"Actually yes. Found a limited one on Ebay once."

"Well slap me stupid, kick my ass and pour chocolate milk on my head!"

Zafrina stood up, finally out of her pink domo haze and slapped me. "Took care of the slapping part. Who wants to do the kicking the ass part?"

"Don't!" I pointed my finger out. If any one of them kicks my ass...

"Relax Bella," Nessie said. "None of us here will kick your ass."

"Well..." Zafrina trails off.

I quickly grabbed Jessica's umbrella and whacked her head.

"Ow!"

I smirked. "Behave, puppy."

"Bark!"

For the rest of the morning before school started, we all huddled around Rosalie's pink domo while we shared stories about what we did during the weekend. By the time the bell rang, Zafrina already had her fill of her crazy flakes when she headed to homeroom.

I held out Rosalie's domo, waiting for her to take back the little furry devil.

"You hold on to it," she said.

"Me? Why?"

"You saw how Zafrina wanted to strangle that thing! I don't wanna get hurt if she does try to do it again. Besides, you and Jessica can tame her far better than me."

"True that."

"So can you hold on to it?"

"Ummm..." I side-glanced at Nessie. "Why can't Nessie hold on it?"

"Nuh-uh!" She half-stepped back. "I'm not gonna get murdered by the dog."

I chuckled. "Fine. I'll hold on to it."

~:~

"Santiago!" Zafrina rushed away from Jessica, Rosalie, Nessie and I towards... a bush?

_What the heck?_

I glanced towards Jessica, who just shrugged.

By the time I checked back to what Zafrina was doing, the four of us were laughing.

Zafrina was at the bush.

Hugging it.

You heard right. She's hugging an inanimate object.

"Oh Zafrina!" The four of us said.

"I can't believe it," Rosalie giggled. "She thinks that thing is her boyfriend?"

"You can't blame her," Jessica said. "He's in the mainland."

"Across the sea..."

"Still. She's still hugging it."

"She must miss him really much."

"Duh."

Zafrina was earning stares. Most of them were from the younger students, but the ones who knew her ignored her.

Makes sense. She's done this sort of craziness since the ninth grade.

"Okay Zafrina," I went over to her and tried to pull on her bag. "Let go of Santiago and lets go."

"No!" That made her hug the bush tighter. "I'm not leaving Santiago."

"It's a bush!"

"Yes, but he's my bush."

Well I don't know how to respond to that.

"Alrighty then..." I backed away from her and went back to my friends.

"Don't worry," Jessica reassured me. "I got this." She made her way to Zafrina, who was still hugging the bush, which I bet she wouldn't let go of anytime soon.

"Hey Zafrina," Jessica said in a singsong voice. Zafrina turned around, but she didn't let go of the bush.

"Yes?"

Out of nowhere, Jessica tugged on Zafrina's blue backpack and tried to drag her away from the bush.

"No!" she shrieked. "Santiago!"

"C'mon," Jessica said. "I'm sure you'll have a better time with your real boyfriend when you see him."

But, like the strong girl she is, Zafrina didn't give up so easily. She was reluctant to let go of the bush, and that made Jessica struggle more for her to release it.

"C'mon, Zafrina. Just let it go." Jessica turned her head to our direction and mouthed "Help me."

I looked at Nessie and Rosalie.

"Nuh-uh," Nessie said. "I'm not going to be attacked."

"Me either," Rosalie agreed. "She's gonna kill me. You do it, Bella. You're stronger than the two of us."

I sighed. They were right. I can easily kick someone's ass if I wanted to... plus I can lift some heavy things pretty easy.

"Fine," I grumbled. "You owe me for this." I walked over to where Jessica was still struggling with Zafrina. I took a deep breath before I latched my fingers on the back of her neck. She screamed and Jessica seized that small opportunity to tug Zafrina away.

"Thanks," Jessica told me as she now easily pulls Zafrina away from 'Santiago.' I help her out by having my fingers remain on the back of her Zafrina's neck. For some reason, this was the main place where she was most often ticklish. Jessica taught me this method once when Zafrina was giving one of her infamous bear hugs to her.

We managed to drag a misfitted Zafrina back to where Nessie and Rosalie stood. The two of them were laughing at something.

"Hey guys," I muttered.

"Wow. I can't believe you actually got her to let go of the bush," Rosalie said.

"I guess it was just our luck," I answered.

"Maybe." Jessica released her grip on Zafrina's backpack and rubbed it furiously against her pants. "Damn that girl's strong."

"Agreed." I pull my fingers away as I rub it against my shirt, seeing that my hands look a little red.

"Santiago!" I don't have time to grab Zafrina before she darts back to the bush and hugs it.

We groaned. "Zafrina!"

"That girl will never learn."

"Tell me about it."

Well... all that for nothing.

On the bright side... this was a memorable lunch recess.

* * *

><p><strong>FACT: The real Santiago in this fic is based by the real Zafrina's boyfriend Ruben. Almost everything in this fic happened in real life, from the pink (It belongs to <strong>xxLove-Is-Adorablexx<strong>) to the bush hugging (I had to deal with it for a few weeks). **

**Sorry it's a little late... I had to finish up my one-shot for the Fandom Against Sexual Assault Awareness and I'm in the middle of helping out xxLove-Is-Adorablexx with typing out the rest of the chapter of one of her stories since her computer has a malfunction. **

**Hopefully, the next chapter for this will be up soon.**


	6. Chapter 5: First Of More Confrontations

**Another chapter! Things will start to get a little jumpy from here... depending on how you'll see it.**

* * *

><p><span>First Of More Confrontations<span>

_Is it broken?_  
><em>Can we work it out?<em>  
><em>I can see in your eyes <em>  
><em>You're ready to break<em>  
><em>Don't look away<em>

_~ Broken (Secondhand Serenade)_

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

"Think Zafrina will hug Santiago today?"

"Ugh, don't remind me! If she does that again..."

"You'll do what?"

"I dunno, but I'm gonna do something!"

"Like what?"

"Uh..."

"I know! Let's send her to Korea and make her listen to Super Junior in concert!"

"You think that'll annoy her?"

"Maybe. She kept on saying Jigsalos when I showed her a pic of SJ."

"True..."

A day has passed since the whole Zafrina-hugging-a-bush-thinking-it's-Santiago incident. Even though we should have forgotten it by now, I doubt that this will never happen again... things for us can happen at least more than once.

Nessie, Rosalie and I were at the side of the library still talking about what happened yesterday. Since it's recess, neither Jessica or Zafrina are with us. Jessica is always at the library during recess to read a book, while Zafrina doesn't hang out with us during recess every day. Today must be one of those days. What she does when she's not with us, I don't know, but if it means having some peace away from her then I'll take the opportunity.

"Hey look," Nessie said, pointing forward. "There's Jake and Embry."

"HEY JAKE!" Rosalie called out.

Embry taps Jacob's shoulder. When he spotted us, he gives a small wave and makes his way over to us.

"Hi girls," Embry greets us.

"Hey Embry," the three of us say in unison.

Embry moves to stand beside me and swings his arm around me. I can't help but laugh a little at Embry's move. As for Jacob, he squishes himself between Nessie and Rosalie. Nessie stares at him with wide googly eyes. I can't blame her. If I wasn't liking he-who-shall-not-be-named (I don't enjoy saying his name out loud, so I'm good with saying that instead... even though it's already taken by Harry Potter), then I'd be making those googly eyes too.

Googly. Hehe.

"So how goes it?" Embry asked. "Jake and I haven't gone around talking to you guys in a while, so this'll be a good time to catch up."

Oh, and did I mention that Embry and Jacob aren't in on the secret of my crush on he-who-shall-not-be named? Now will not be the right time to bring him up.

Rosalie answers the question for us. "Not much."

Whew. At least she didn't mentioned... you know.

Nessie scoffed. "If not much means seeing Zafrina hugging a bush that she thinks is Santiago."

Jacob then becomes the next person with wide eyes. "That's what she was doing? I thought it was her mental issues or something."

"Oh she's mental all right," I muttered. Embry must have heard me because he gave a secretive sort of smile at my direction.

"Yes, and so are the teachers" Rosalie retorted. "But you don't see them hugging random trees on campus."

True that.

"I dunno..." Nessie interjected. "I once saw one of the teachers who taught algebra for freshmen dress up in a chicken suit."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Something about losing a bet."

"Teachers have no lives."

"Maybe some. Others have lives that take place on beds."

I scowled. "Really Jake? You have to bring up a teacher's lemons."

"Lemons?"

"It's a code word for the s word," Nessie clarified.

"And how the heck did you even learn that word?"

"Seeeeeeecreeeeeet," Rosalie said, drawing the word out as her tongue rolled.

Embry and Jake let the subject go. "Okay... so..."

"So what?"

"Did you hear about that seventh grade kid who got bullied at our old intermediate?"

And thus, the rest of our recess was taken up chatting with Embry and Jacob. They were the first two boys that'll ever cross our minds whenever we think about which boys are the closest to us. Jacob is the first, Embry coming a close second.

On the way to my next class, I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I don't know why, but I felt as if someone was watching me. I turned around, wanting to see if someone was.

And there, across the field, was Edward. He was talking with Jasper and Emmett again, but while Jasper was saying something to him, I could see that he was looking at me at the corner of his eye.

Huh. I wonder why he was doing that. I could feel the ache in my heart from looking at him, so I quickly turned away before any more damage could be done.

With a sigh, I continued heading off to class, still feeling his eyes burned on me.

~:~

"Bella! Hey Bella!" I looked up to see Emmett running towards me. Jasper, who he was with not a moment ago, gave me a small smile at my direction, while Edward looked at Emmett as if he wanted to kill him.

Hmmm... I wonder what he did this time. Sing I Kissed A Girl and proceeded to flirt with Rosalie? Yes, I've caught Emmett flirting with Rosalie a few times. Gross, but he's a guy. It must be his male hormones that are kicking in lately.

"Hi Emmett," I greeted, smiling at him when he finally stopped a few feet away from me.

"Hi Bella."

"What's up?"

"Oh nothing much." From the back of Edward's head, I could see Jasper trying to hold Edward back, who looked to as if he really did want to kill Emmett in the next five seconds. "Listen... Edward wants to talk to you."

I gaped at him. He wanted to talk to me? Really? Why would he? Why choose now to want to talk to me? We haven't really talked much in the past, so knowing that he wants to now out of nowhere is taking me by surprise.

"What about?" I asked, a bit apprehensive.

He shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me. All he said that he was urgent. Of course..." Emmett turned around to look at Edward for a moment, then turned back to me. "He didn't want to, so I offered to tell you for him. He told me I shouldn't, but I'm doing it anyway."

Oh. That made sense... I think.

I nodded. "Sure. I'll talk to him. When do you think it'll be okay?"

"Ummm..." Jasper mouthed something in our direction from behind Emmett. It sounded like he was saying "After school."

"Any day's fine by Edward," Emmett tells me.

"Okay. Do you think he'll mind after school?" Jasper winks at me, while Edward just rolls his eyes. I could have sworn he muttered "Idiot" under his breath.

"Sure. I'll tell Edward that he'll meet with you after school at..."

"Library?"

"At the library. Later Bella." He walked back to his friends. I see Edward glare at him, then at me.

Okay that I expected.

Shoots. I have two minutes left to get to class. Keeping my eyes on the ground, I rush past Emmett, Jasper and Edward and run off to class.

~:~

2:25. It's been ten minutes since the bell rung. Where was Edward? I had a bus to take, and Rosalie and Nessie will kill me if I'm late again... or think I ditched them. I don't want them to think that, which is why I'm impatient for Edward to get here so he can tell me what he wants so I can get the hell out of school.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Edward pants when he gets to me. He's still wearing his PE clothes from last period. That must mean... he had to run all the way from the Gym to the library, which is on the other side of the school.

I shrugged. "Your class was far. It's okay."

"Good." He tosses his backpack on the floor and leans back on the wall on the outside of the library.

"So talk," I said, crossing my arms across my chest. "Rose and Nessie are waiting at the bus stop, and they'll kill me if I don't ride the 434 with them."

"Oh. About that..." He gives a nervous hair flip. "This might take a while, depending on how you'll look at it."

I huffed, sinking down on the ground. "Great. Guess they will think I ditched them again. Just... ummm... see how quick you can say what you need to say. I'll see if I can make it to the bus stop before the 434 leaves."

He sighed. "Okay, that's good."

Suddenly, I remember that this was the first time I'd be having a real conversation. With Edward, the boy who broke my heart not long ago. Whatever he wanted to talk about, he was holding me back with meeting up with my friends.

"So talk," I repeated, wanting to get this conversation over with. Even though I've always wanted to have a real conversation with Edward in person and not via Facebook, I'm pissed that he chose the wrong time to do so. Why couldn't he have done this over lunch? We'd have thirty minutes, not a quick ten minutes in which I'm rushing to leave.

He took a deep breath and said the words that I've never thought I'd hear.

"We need to talk about us."

* * *

><p><strong>So again, late update. I know. :P You're free to throw bottles at me. Then again... I wish you don't. I'm not wanting to be another Justin Bieber. Sorry for these late updates. High school's kicking my ass, and apparently I'm kinda stuck in a team where teachers have high expectations, &amp; thus more homework &amp; projects than middle school.<strong>

**So uh... sorry about the cliffie. I actually did plan for it to end there, so don't try to kill me. Yet. Next chapter should be up... honestly idk when. This may be the last update for this story for the year, & hopefully I can finish this fic by next year.**

**Next chapter will have Bella & Edward's conversation. It'll be heated... but nothing too overboard... hopefully. 'Kay bye!**


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